#DudesCraftToo

I haven’t been quilting for very long, only about 4 years, but I have been crafting in one form or another for most of my life. As a kid I was enamored by my mom’s sewing machine and all the things she could make on it. I also was very into cross stitch, thanks again to my mom. However, growing up in the late 80’s early 90’s (yep I am a millennial, but I hope not one of “those” millennials that comes to mind), these weren’t really crafts a boy should take up. Thankfully, I never got teased about it and everyone liked the work that I did, but I’m sure a few people gave me some sideways looks when I would break out the embroidery hoop in public. Fortunately, I was too young to notice or even care if they did. Fast forward to today, the world is incredibly different. Gender norms are being broken down and people get to do what makes them happy and not get judged for it. Well, for the most part.

I’ll be honest, there is still a small feeling of dread when I walk into a quilting store. Why? Well, because I’m a guy, and there aren’t a lot of us dude quilters out there. I know most of the time one of the first questions I’m going to get asked when I walk in the door is “Are you lost?” or “Did your wife/girlfriend send you to get something?” Everyone means well, they do, but it still makes me feel like an outsider sometimes. Lucky for me, the stores I frequent have gotten to know me and welcome me. My favorite stores to visit in person are Sew It Up Bernina in Hurst, Texas and Box Car Quilts in Cross Roads, Texas. They have welcomed me and embraced my willingness to learn and ask questions. However, I do get “the look” from other customers sometimes when I enter the store. I shake it off and am always polite. To be honest, I take it in stride.

When I attended my first Fort Worth Modern Quilt Guild meeting, I didn’t know what to expect. I was still very new in my quilt journey, and I wasn’t sure if this was going to be the place for me. I didn’t know if I knew enough to attend meetings or if they would even welcome me. I remember what it was like when I stepped foot in the door. I had sent a Facebook message inquiring about attending the meeting and was encouraged to come so they had an idea I might show up. I was soon welcomed, and the ladies there were very interested in me and my story. I got lucky! They took me in as one of their own almost immediately. I attended the next month’s meeting in which the guest speaker was the amazing Libs Elliott. Her wonderful lecture was a sign from the universe I was in the right place and with the right group of people and they have been stuck with me ever since! They even voted for me to be the president of the guild in 2019 and 2020.

One of the things that makes being a male quilter difficult is trying to find a design aesthetic that fits with what is offered to the quilting community. It is common knowledge that the target demographic for quilting products and patterns are women. I’m used to this as I am also a greeting card crafter. Most of the stamp sets and other paper crafting products are geared to women. It can be frustrating trying to find just the right pattern or sometimes even the right fabric. Luckily there are some really great designers out there, of all genders, that create fabric and designs that have a lot of versatility. I hope that someday I can learn how to design my own patterns. I’ll just add that to the list of 100 other skills that I want to learn before I die. Until then, I use the patterns and the fabrics that I do like and are available to make my projects of my own. I always find patterns and fabrics that bring me joy so I shouldn’t complain too much about it, I just hope fabric companies and pattern designers never forget that there are some guys out there who enjoy having representation.

Let’s be honest, women in many cases have had to deal with unequal treatment thoughout history. What I experience as a man in the quilting world is no different from that of a woman in their local hardware store. They get asked what their husband sent them for or asked if a tool is too heavy for them to use. I don’t kid myself that what I experience is nothing new and is not unique. It just makes me sad that in the year 2021, people of all genders are made to feel this way by others. I am a member of a facebook group that is for men who quilt and has 2.7K members. Posts I see on a fairly regular basis are things like asking how other members were treated when they wanted to join a guild, or how apprehensive they felt as they walked around a quilt shop. They also talk about how nice it is to have a group for guys, a safe space if you will because in other groups they were made to feel unwelcome just because they are a dude who crafts. A fellow card crafter by the name Jeff Lindberg (mrjefflindberg on Instagram) even started using the hashtag #DudesCraftToo because he wanted to inspire guys in the crafting world and wanted to show male representation in a female dominated industry. We are all human and we all want to find a safe space where we feel welcomed and wanted. So be kind to everyone, because in my opinion there can never be too much kindness in the world. 

We are so thankful to have Ian as a Cotton Cuts brand ambassador, and to hear a little more of his voice and story. You can connect with Ian at his Youtube channel or Instagram.